


Don't be rude

by 2slushpuppies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Genderfluid Character, God so many people to tag, If You Squint - Freeform, Kinks, M/M, Multi, Skype, Trans Male Character, chat fic, hinata you sweet innocent child, skype chat fic, that meme team though, theres plot??, these guys will corrupt him, they are not the same person, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8806492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2slushpuppies/pseuds/2slushpuppies
Summary: anNOYAing: I don't need to hear about my own mother's kinks that's between him and daichi
Smolbirb: what's a kink???
gucci: well...
Sugarmommy: DONT YOU DARE TELL HIM
Matsumeme: so sweet so pure
Makipepe: let's corrupt him
Matsumeme: agreed





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> alienfucker:Oikawa   
> kitten: Kenma  
> imalwaysthisnice:Kuroo  
> YourBoiIwa: Iwaizumi  
> Smolbirb: Hinata  
> Matsumeme: Matsukawa  
> Makipepe: Hanamaki  
> Dadchi: Daichi  
> Sugarmommy: Sugawara  
> Leg: Lev  
> noturmom: Yaku  
> BestSenpai: Tanaka  
> WAKEMEUP:Asahi  
> Milkboi: Kageyama  
> HootHoot: Bokuto  
> fukboi: Terushima  
> snek: Daishou  
> Pure: Moniwa  
> Eyebrows:Aone  
> Maddog: Kyoutani  
> Creampuff: Yahaba  
> EnnoSHITa: Ennoshita   
> gucci: Yamaguchi  
> KinDIEchi: Kindiachi  
> 50ShadesOfSalt: Tsukishima  
> Prettysetter: Akaashi  
> anNOYAing: Noya  
> WakaWaka: Ushijima   
> Guessmonster: Tendou  
> futureace: Goshiki  
> leavemealone: Kunimi  
> Shirabooboo: Shirabu  
> betterthanyou: Semi  
> Littlegay: Yaichi  
> Biggay: Kiyoko  
> Greatsetter: Miya  
> SinnamonRoll: Futakuchi

Smolbirb has added Milkboi, Dadchi, Sugarmommy, WAKEMEUP, BestSenpai, Littlegay, Biggay, 50ShadesOfSalt, gucci, anNOYAing, and EnnoSHITa to the chat.

Littlegay: OOOOO WHAT IS TIS

Smolbirb: GROUP CHAT

50ShadesOfSalt: disgusting

Sugarmommy: Don't be r00d tuskishima

Smolbirb: yeah stingyshima!!

Milkboi: why

EnnoSHITa: I already feel a headache coming on

Smolbirb: speaking of headaches

Smolbirb has added kitten, alienfucker, YourBoiIwa, imalwaysthisnice, Leg, noturmom, Matsumeme, Makipepe, Pure, Eyebrows, HootHoot, fukboi, snek, Maddog, Creampuff, KinDIEchi, Prettysetter, WakaWaka, Guessmonster, futureace, Shirabooboo, and betterthanyou

imalwaysthisnice: Oya?

HootHoot: Oya Oya Oya?

imalwaysthisnice: BRO!!!!!

HootHoot: BRO!!!!

kitten: kms

Dadchi: Hinata why

Milkboi: why the fuck would you invite oikawa

YourBoiIwa: I agree why

alienfucker: MEAN IWA-CHAN

alienfucker: and fuck you tobio-chan

Sugarmommy: don't fuck my son

Matsumeme: fist me, daddy

Makipepe: lick me

Creampuff: I didn't need to know about your kinks

WAKEMEUP: what the hell did I miss

BestSenpai: I bet Suga is secretly super kinky

Sugarmommy: ;))))

anNOYAing: I don't need to hear about my own mother's kinks that's between him and daichi

Smolbirb: what's a kink???

gucci: well...

Sugarmommy: DONT YOU DARE TELL HIM

Matsumeme: so sweet so pure

Makipepe: let's corrupt him

Matsumeme: agreed

Leg: kuro-san probably has some nasty ass kinks

noturmom: I have to agree on that with Lev

imalwaysthisnice: why do you all assume the worst from me??

50ShadesOfSalt: they aren't wrong you're nasty

Prettysetter: you would know

HootHoot: AKASSSSHHHHIIIII

Prettysetter: hello

imalwaysthisnice: you would know too 

fukboi: karsuno's angry middle blocker has three boyfriends and I can't even get one smh

alienfucker: wait who the hell is fukboi and

alienfucker: three boyfriends damn megane has game

50ShadesOfSalt: I hate all of you 

fukboi: I'm Terushima from Johzenji

snek: oh that party team

imalwaysthisnice: WHY IS THAT THING HERE

snek: fuck you kuro

Matsumeme: that obviously his boyfriends jobs

Shirabooboo: you're all disgusting 

betterthanyou: shut the fuck up shirabu you're like twelve

WakaWaka: I'm fairly positive Shirabu is not twelve

alienfucker: WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE

WakaWaka: Hello Oikawa

alienfucker: fuck you

WakaWaka: I rather not

Matsumeme: OOOOOOOOOO

Makipepe: DAAMMMMNNNNN

futureace: wow ushijima

Maddog: wtf is going on

Creampuff: not your brain obviously

Maddog: stfu

anNOYAing: mad dog...

BestSenpai: angry hound

Matsumeme: grumpy puppy

Makipepe: furious mutt

Shirabooboo: livid pooch

Maddog: I swear to god I'm going to kill someone

50ShadesOfSalt: someone needs a leash

Matsumeme: kinky

Makipepe: you can put a leash on me ;)))

Smolbirb: why would you need a leash?

Littlegay: ????

noturmom: oh you sweet children...

Dadchi: can we not talk about this in front of the children

Milkboi: you'd need a pretty big leash for a person...

BestSenpai: oh my god Kageyama 

anNOYAing: I thought with a senpai like oikawa he'd be a bit more corrupt 

alienfucker: excuse you

Creampuff: your name literally says you fuck aliens I'm surprised too honestly

alienfucker: sometimes you are a worst kouhai than tobio

Milkboi: at least daichi is a better captain than you

alienfucker: BITCH WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY

Dadchi: this is only going to get worse...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fukboi: all these people with multiple boyfriends and I can't even get one
> 
> snek: were we not flirting?
> 
> fukboi: if you want it to be flirting ;))))
> 
> imalwaysthisnice: brokuto fell asleep on my chest and now I can't move
> 
> Prettysetter: better you than me
> 
> imalwaysthisnice: wish you were here tsuki ;)
> 
> 50ShadesOfSalt: new number who dis?
> 
> imalwaysthisnice: tsukkkkiiiii :(((((
> 
> Prettysetter: same tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gay is strong in this chapter

Pure: Oh hey a group chat

imalwaysthisnice: hey Moniwa you pure child you

Pure: Hi Kuroo

Pure: Can I add a couple people?

Smolbirb: Sure!!!

Pure has added Greatsetter and SinnamonRoll to the chat.

Milkboi: Miya-san?

Greatsetter: Tobio! Hey!

alienfucker: excuse you

Creampuff: oh no

alienfucker: who the fuck are you and why are you calling m that only I get to call him tobio and what the fuck I bet I'm a better setter than your ass

Greatsetter: Ooooo possessive, are you little Tobio's boyfriend?

leavemealone: oh my god

Matsumeme: HOLY FUCK AHAHAHA

Makipepe: we are going to have to hear about this all through practice gdi

Sugarmommy: please never date him Kageyama

Milkboi: gross

gucci: why isn't Oikawa responding 

YourBoiIwa: he's screaming into the pillow that's why

Matsumeme: oh iwa-chan why is Oikawa in your bed

Makipepe: oh ho ho???

YourBoiIwa: because my mom let him in even though I said not to

Littlegay: is it normal to scream when someone says hi to you

gucci: yes

SinnamonRoll: I mean I scream at people all the time

Pure: Maybe we shouldn't have made you the new coach, Futakuchi 

SinnamonRoll: screaming gets people moving though

EnnoSHITa: I'll remember that for when I'm captain 

BestSenpai: gdi

anNOYAing: can I transfer schools

kitten: no

noturmom: damn Kenma

kitten: there are enough loud people here

fukboi: so if they were quiet?

kitten: definitely not you

gucci: can I come?

kitten: yes you're fine

anNOYAing: Yamaguchi can go but not me???

kitten: he's quiet and nice I wouldn't mind him being around

imalwaysthisnice: that's high praise coming from kenma

Prettysetter: Bokuto are you trying to climb through my window?

HootHoot: no what idk what you are talking about how could you accuse me of such actions

HootHoot: why is your window locked?

Prettysetter: To keep you and Kuroo out

50ShadesOfSalt: Ha

alienfucker: so mean to your boyfriends

Dadchi: oh you're back

alienfucker: who would want to date tobio ugh gross

Smolbirb: what's bad about dating kageyama???

Littlegay: I mean if I wasn't so gay and had a girlfriend I might

Biggay: Kageyama is fairly attractive, I see girls confess to him often.

Matsumeme: does hinata think kageyama is dating worthy? ;)

Makipepe: have we discovered a crush? ;)

Milkboi: ...

anNOYAing: !!!

Smolbirb: what you guys don't know?

Dadchi: know what?

Smolbirb: we're dating!

Greatsetter: I thought you were dating someone Tobio, I like this smolbirb more than the alienfucker.

BestSenpai: HOLY FUCK YOU GUYS ARE DATING AND DIDNT TELL US

Milkboi: thought you knew

Sugarmommy: my babies are growing up so fast

alienfucker: omg tobio got someone to date him???

YourBoiIwa: stop being so mean to him shittykawa

Milkboi: thank you Iwaizumi 

YourBoiIwa: no problem

KinDIEchi: Oikawa got all quiet again

WAKEMEUP: how long have you been dating

Milkboi: few months

Matsumeme: maki and I can give you the talk ;))))

Makipepe: oh yes just leave it to us ;))))

leavemealone: I wouldn't

Creampuff: God no

Maddog: stay away from me

kitten: congrats Shouyou 

imalwaysthisnice: why do you only capitalize his and yamaguchi's names

kitten: I like them unlike you

noturmom: roasted

Leg: CONGRATS HINATA

alienfucker: good luck with that shrimpy

gucci: thanks Kenma 

snek: damn everyone is in a relationship but me

fukboi: I'm right here ;)))

snek: oh? ;)))

Pure: boyfriends are fun except when they live so far away

Greatsetter: I'm sorry babe

50ShadesOfSalt: I feel that

Shirabooboo: you both are dating?

Pure: Yeah!

Greatsetter: Mhm

SinnamonRoll: if you hurt Moniwa I will have to kill you I hope you realize that

SinnamonRoll: Aone will help me, right?

Eyebrows: Mhm

Greatsetter: I have no intentions of hurting him, he's too sweet and cute to cause harm to

Pure: :)

Pure: How is your guys relationship, Aone, Futakuchi?

Eyebrows: It's great

SinnamonRoll: it's nice having a giant boyfriend who does whatever I say

snek: I want a boyfriend that does whatever I say

fukboi: ;)))))

Biggay: Hitoka I have cookies and hot chocolate, and I'm coming over

Littlegay: !!!!

Littlegay: I should actually get dressed then

betterthanyou: I don't think she would mind you not being dressed

Guessmonster: has anyone seen Goshiki???

WakaWaka: He wanted to practice serving, so we are in the gym.

Guessmonster: it's like 9pm what the hell im coming

Dadchi: thank god Hinata and Kageyama can't get in the gym after practice 

Sugarmommy: tru

Prettysetter: One of you is bad enough why is Kuroo climbing through my window

HootHoot: we wanted love

Matsumeme: love ;)))))

Makipepe: ohhoho ;)))))

kitten: you are both disgusting

kitten: damn I finished my video game and now I can't go out and get a new one

gucci: ooooo I'm gonna play yandere simulator 

kitten: good idea me too

Leg: oooo what's that?

noturmom: no you'll get nightmares and then keep me up all night because you can't sleep

Leg: but

noturmom: no

Leg: :(

leavemealone: I just ate a whole tub of ice cream

KinDIEchi: Akira why

leavemealone: because fuck you that why

Creampuff: I want ice cream

leavemealone: too bad it's all gone

Guessmonster: I got them out of the gym

futureace: we were only there for a couple hours

Guessmonster: too bad

betterthanyou: Tendou is like the mom boyfriend keeping his other boyfriends in check

fukboi: boyfriends?

Shirabooboo: Ushijima, Goshiki, and Tendou

fukboi: all these people with multiple boyfriends and I can't even get one

snek: were we not flirting?

fukboi: if you want it to be flirting ;))))

imalwaysthisnice: brokuto fell asleep on my chest and now I can't move

Prettysetter: better you than me

imalwaysthisnice: wish you were here tsuki ;)

50ShadesOfSalt: new number who dis?

imalwaysthisnice: tsukkkkiiiii :(((((

Prettysetter: same tbh

Smolbirb: why don't you climb through my window Kageyama??

Milkboi: ?!?!?!

Sugarmommy: I think they do need the talk

Matsumeme: on it

Makipepe: you see when a mommy and daddy love each other very much

Dadchi: no!

alienfucker: tobio better not get laid before me

Maddog: you never will with that attitude 

alienfucker: why must you attack me like this

Smolbirb: laid? Like laying down?

alienfucker: oh my god even I don't have the heart to tell him otherwise

Littlegay: I have the best girlfriend ever she's so good to me

Biggay: <3

anNOYAing: why don't you bring me cookies asahi

WAKEMEUP: did you want me too?

BestSenpai: hey chikara

EnnoSHITa: no

kitten: I just want someone to bring me food

gucci: same

snek: would you bring me food terushima?

fukboi: I'd bring you anything you want babe ;)))

Greatsetter: This is a very gay chat, I like it


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matsumeme: all my friends are wheat thins take it slow
> 
> alienfucker: why are you like this
> 
> Makipepe: here come dat boi
> 
> Pure: oh shit waddup
> 
> alienfucker: I had faith in you moniwa
> 
> Pure: Sorry
> 
> imalwaysthisnice: don't make Moniwa feel bad
> 
> HootHoot: you monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm gonna add a few tags and hope you guys like it

Matsumeme: all my friends are wheat thins take it slow

alienfucker: why are you like this

Makipepe: here come dat boi

Pure: oh shit waddup

alienfucker: I had faith in you moniwa

Pure: Sorry

imalwaysthisnice: don't make Moniwa feel bad

HootHoot: you monster

Greatsetter: We should all get together sometime

Sugarmommy: that sounds great we should

Creampuff: Tokyo kids need to come here though most of us are here

WakaWaka: shirabu is such a better setter than semi like how can you even compare the two of them and anyone who says otherwise can eat my entire fucking asshole

Creampuff: ....

noturmom: ....

imalwaysthisnice: .... What

alienfucker: the shit

betterthanyou: SHIRABU GET THE RUCK OFF USHIJIMAS PHOME YOU FUCKER WHERE ARE YOU HIDING

WakaWaka: you'll never find me

futureace: he's in the storage closet

WakaWaka: FUCK YOU GOSHIKI

futureace: that's the job of the phones owner now give it back

Makipepe: DAMMMMNNNN

Matsumeme: I didn't know he had it in him I'm so proud

Prettysetter: has anyone seen Kenma

imalwaysthisnice: pretty sure he's hiding from lev

Leg: I JUST WANTED HIM TO SET FOR ME AND HE RAN

noturmom: um

Leg: ????

noturmom: I found him [image attached]

alienfucker: how the fuck did he get up in the rafters ?!?!

imalwaysthisnice: gdi not again

anNOYAing: again?! He's gotten up there before???

noturmom: he runs away and hides a lot

gucci: damn I wish I could find good hiding spots like that

Littlegay: okay so I'm in class right being a good student taking my notes and shit when all of a sudden BAM A FUCKING BIRD FLEW INTO THE WINDOW AND I SCREAMED AND THEN EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME AND I STARTED CRYING AND THEN IM LIKE WHAT IF THE HIRD IS HURT AND I STARTINF CRYING MORE AND NOW IM IN THE BATHROOMSTALL AND I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO CLASS

gucci: uuuhhh you okay there Yaichi????

Littlegay: IM TRAMATIZED

Sugarmommy: why are you all in your phones in class

gucci: why are you on your phone in class

Sugarmommy: don't talk back to your mother like that I raised you better than this don't make me tell your dad

fukboi: *daddy

alienfucker: do you only show up to display your kinks and flirt?

fukboi: is there any other reason to be here?

fukboi: but you know whose major daddy material

fukboi: daichi is a good daddy if you got the thirst for thighs

fukboi: but if you want an arm daddy than Iwaizumi is your guy

Matsumeme: oh my god

Makipepe: here it comes

alienfucker: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM IWACHAN YOU FUCKING TOUNGE PIERCING MOOTHERFUCKKER FUCK YOU AND YOU FUCKING FACE

snek: damn

Dadchi: SHUT UP AND GET OFF YOUR PHONES IN CLASS

gucci: yes dad

fukboi: *daddy

imalwaysthisnice: KINK SHAME

50ShadesOfSalt: like you are one to kink shame

Smolbirb: I don't get it what's wrong with saying daddy?

Creampuff: oh Hun no...

Milkboi: ???

Littlegay: I even know the daddy thing Hinata...

BestSenpai: Noya it's time we gave them the talk while Suga and daichi aren't paying attention

anNOYAing: agreed 

Alienfucker: they've been gone for like half an hour are they okay

Smolbirb: so wait I have to call my lover daddy???

Creampuff: oh my god

YourBoiIwa: you don't have to call them that some people just like to

Alienfucker: where have you been Iwa chan?!

YourBoiIwa: avoiding you

Alienfucker: mean!

gucci: do ever just like sit down and think about how small and insignificant your life is and then you start having anxiety because your like wow I could die tomorrow and the world will keep moving as if nothing happened and even your friends will eventually move on with their lives while your body rots in the dirt as if you never existed 

kitten: yes

50ShadesOfSalt: I'm on my way to get you Yamaguchi 

gucci: thanks tsuki

Pure: No ones life is meaningless, you can make a difference without even realizing it. That stranger you smiled at? Maybe he was going to jump off a bridge if you didn't do it, saved a life right there. Or you gave that compliment to a girl recovering from an eating disorder and she ended up not relapsing. You never know, you could change someone's life just by walking down the street.

Greatsetter: that was the best thing you've ever said babe

Prettysetter: About meeting up we have the weekend off what about everyone else?

imalwaysthisnice: same I think we can do that

Dadchi: we can do this weekend too if you guys come down

snek: yeeee lets do this

KinDIEchi: can someone help me

Creampuff: what's up?

KinDIEchi: Akira is trying to drink a whole 2 litter bottle of soda by himself and I can't stop him by myself

YourBoiIwa: I'm on my way

leavemealone: stop trying to tell me how to live my life

Smolbirb: I just ran into a pole whoops

Milkboi: dumbass

50ShadesOfSalt: ha

kitten: is Yamaguchi okay?

50ShadesOfSalt: they're fine, just a bad day

kitten: oh good

imalwaysthisnice: you seem very interested in Yamaguchi Kenma 

kitten: because he's not annoying like you

50ShadesOfSalt: I have to agree with Kenma 

imalwaysthisnice: ouch right in the feels tsuki

Matsumeme: all aboard the feels train

Makipepe: choo choo

Maddog: you ever get the sudden urge to just grab the nearest person and punch them in the face

leavemealone: yes

alienfucker: this team is a fucking shit storm


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prettysetter: Wow something productive happened in this chat
> 
> Makipepe: I'm shook
> 
> Matsumeme: such shook much kindness
> 
> kitten: that meme is older than than my will to live
> 
> noturmom: are you okay there Kenma
> 
> kitten: I'm never okay

leavemealone: I just ate expired yogurt whoops

Creampuff: what the fuck is wrong with you

KinDIEchi: A,IRA WHY

Sugarmommy: well I mean I just ate a whole box of cookies by myself so

Dadchi: Suga why

Smolbirb: I WANT COOKIES

Dadchi: HINATA NO

Smolbirb: HINATA YES

Littlegay: how do you just eat expired yogurt

leavemealone: not my fault no one cleans out the fridge in this house

leavemealone: I mean it was frozen so I might be fine

Alienfucker: when did it expire?

leavemealone: like 7 months ago

KinDIEchi: Akira wtf you're gonna die

Creampuff: rip Kunimi

Alienfucker: all the first tears are gonna kill themselves off jfc

noturmom: pretty sure Kenma is gonna kill lev before he can kill himself

imalwaysthisnice: what happened now? I literally just walked away 

noturmom: ummm you might want to see this for yourself

imalwaysthisnice: one day I just want one day when Kenma doesn't kill someone

kitten: that's asking for a lot 

imalwaysthisnice: oh my god how did you

Pure: what happened?

Greatsetter: Moniwa!

Pure: Miya!

Greatsetter: it's almost the weekend and then I can see your beautiful face ;)

Pure: aw I can't wait <3

noturmom: y'all are super cute and all like damn power couple but somehow Kenma tied lev to a tree with the volley ball net

noturmom: don't know how or why

noturmom: but now Kuroo is trying to get him down [image attached]

EnnoSHITa: Ill remember that next time tanaka annoys me

BestSenpai: daichi can you never retire because I'm scared for when he's captain

Dadchi: I've taught you well Ennoshita 

Milkboi: I may or may not have dropped a glass on my foot

Sugarmommy: oh my god Kageyama

Alienfucker: HA

YourBoiIwa: hey shittykawa keep being mean to Kageyama and I'll throw you out my second story window

YourBoiIwa: are you bleeding Kageyama?

Milkboi: no some how the glass didn't break

YourBoiIwa: then go ice your foot

Milkboi: k

YouyBoiIwa: and tell be if Oikawa is mean to you again

Makipepe: mommy Iwa at it again

Matsumeme: Oikawa is sleeping on the couch tonight

Alienfucker: bite me

fukboi: kinky

Alienfucker: seriously it's like mention a kink to summon Terushima

snek: you can bite me teru ;)

fukboi: ;))))

Smolbirb: wouldn't that hurt

gucci: jfc Hinata

Prettysetter: Hinata... Never change

Prettysetter: Kei

50ShadesOfSalt: Yes?

Smolbirb: why can he call you Kei?.

50ShadesOfSalt: shut up

Prettysetter: Let's ditch Kuroo and Bokuto for a bit when I come down

50ShadesOfSalt: sounds great

HootHoot: DONT HAVE FUN WITHOUT US

imalwaysthisnice: okay I got lev down

noturmom: bout time

Leg: I WAS STUFK THERE FOR AWHILE

kitten: good

leavemealone: my stomach hurts

Alienfucker: gee I woNDER WHY KUNIMI

leavemealone: don't you have a dick to suck

KinDIEchi: damn Akira 

Alienfucker: I wish

Smolbirb: so I ate all the cookies really fast before my little sister saw them

kitten: I could go for a cookie

imalwaysthisnice: NO

noturmom: NO

betterthanyou: you're all a mess

Shirabooboo: someone doesn't want any of my cookies

betterthanyou: WAIT NO I DO

futureace: anyone else worried about that 7 month old yogurt

WakaWaka: We could hold the funeral at Shiratorizawa

Alienfucker: we willnOT DO THAT

leavemealone: I want to be catapulted into the principal's office

BestSenpai: YES

Dadchi: NO

KinDIEchi: I need a nap I can't with this

kitten: where's Yamaguchi 

imalwaysthisnice: oooo do you like him Kenma??

kitten: yes

50ShadesOfSalt: them

imalwaysthisnice: ?

50ShadesOfSalt: Yamaguchi goes by they/them pronouns not he/him

kitten: oh whoops I'll fix it

50ShadesOfSalt: they'll appreciate that

Smolbirb: I do not recommend eating a box of cookies and then jumping on the bed

Milkboi: wtf dumbass

Smolbirb: SAYS THE GUY WHO DROPPED A GLASS ON HIS FOOT

anNOYAing: aren't you too such a loving couple

WAKEMEUP: Yuu yesterday you laughed at me when I tripped and fell on my face

anNOYAing: BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY

Leg: at least if Yaku fell he wouldn't have far to go

kitten: looks like I'm not the only one killing lev today

noturmom: LEV YOU LITTLE SHIT IM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE

Leg: OH NO

leavemealone: I'm craving pizza

Maddog: same

Creampuff: Kunimi's stomach is just a bottomless pit

Leg: HOW DID HE HET TO MY HOUSE THAT FAST WITH THOSE LITTLE LEGS

Leg: OH MY GOD HES TRYING TO CLIMB UP THE WINDOW

Leg: SHIT AHIT AHIT KNJKSKJdbjl

Milkboi: is he okay?

kitten: I hope not

gucci: oh my god what did I miss

kitten: hey Yamaguchi 

gucci: hey Kenma!

gucci: oh I read above

gucci: yeah I prefer they pronouns if you guys don't mind

Alienfucker: we may be assholes but we aren't that much of assholes of course we don't mind

Milkboi: Oikawa knows how to be nice?

Alienfucker: NOW LISTEN HERE BITCH

Smolbirb: can I ask why though unless that like super mean and rude then never mind forget I said anything we love you Yamaguchi 

gucci: no it's okay

gucci: I'm genderfluid, I don't really feel all boy or all girl. It fluctuates. So uh yeah if you guys have any questions or whatever feel free to ask it's okay

Smolbirb: oh cool!

Dadchi: of course Yamaguchi 

Prettysetter: Wow something productive happened in this chat

Makipepe: I'm shook

Matsumeme: such shook much kindness

kitten: that meme is older than than my will to live

noturmom: are you okay there Kenma

kitten: I'm never okay

gucci: you'll come down to visit this weekend right??

kitten: yes I look forward to seeing you

imalwaysthisnice: Oya Oya Oya ???

leavemealone: so I found a bag of marshmallows

KinDIEchi: FOR FUCKS SAKE AKIRA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That yogurt thing happened to me am I gonna die
> 
> Anyways there we go one reveal down. I just really like Genderfluid!Yamaguchi
> 
> On the weekend trip I'll have a bit of actual writing written in and we will find out who the trans male character is.
> 
> Oh and I might do a crossover, maybe, we'll see.
> 
> Happy reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugarmommy: hey daichi come over and rub my feet
> 
> Dadchi: why
> 
> Sugarmommy: because they hurt and if you rub them for me I'll make it worth your wild
> 
> Dadchi: I'm on my way
> 
> anNOYAing: we didn't need to read that
> 
> Bestsenpai: terrible parents
> 
> anNOYAing: hey asahi come over and rub my feet
> 
> BestSenpai: gdi Noya
> 
> WAKEMEUP: omw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally the only thing I planned out for this chapter was that damn navy seals meme and you know what? I'm not even sorry

Alienfucker: bout to stab a bitch

Sugarmommy: wow what's wrong with Oikawa

Milkboi: everything

Alienfucker: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.  
   
Matsumeme: he's just jealous that his Iwa chan is being hit on as we speak

Makipepe: he looks about ready to pop the volleyball in his hands

Maddog: or throw it at the girl

Creampuff: so it's okay when girls hit on you but they can't hit on Iwaizumi?

Alienfucker: how could you call me out like this alright Iwa chan is mine and some punk ass little bitch isn't gonna take him from me

leavemealone: does this mean practice is over? can I go home??

Alienfucker: I'll make you run laps Kunimi i swear to god

kitten: stabbing someone is a great idea I think I might do that

Leg: fucking running 

noturmom: I'm pretty sure he means Kuroo since he won't stop telling Kenma how pretty Tsukishima's eyes are

HootHoot: well they are really pretty

kitten: I'll stab you too don't think I won't

Littlegay: so like I volunteered to stay and practice with Kageyama and Hinata and where do you guys get all this energy from holy fuck don't you ever get tired

Milkboi: no

Smolbirb: no

Dadchi: they don't and it's very worrying sometimes

50ShadesOfSalt: why would you practice with those losers

imalwaysthisnice: TSUKI

50ShadesOfSalt: bye

kitten: serves you right kuro

HootHoot: I'm here for you bro

imalwaysthisnice: brooooooo ily

HootHoot: ily2

Alienfucker: diabetes 

Creampuff: don't be bitter just because your big armed boyfriend is being hit on

Alienfucker: YOU NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR HOYFRIED BEING HIT ON YAHABA BECAUSE WHY WOULD AOMEONE HIT ON THAT ANGRY DOG 

Creampuff: Ken is attractive and I wouldn't be surprised if he got hit on so shut your fucking mouth Oikawa-San before I shove my foot so far down your throat it comes out of your stretched out ass.

Matsumeme: damn

Makipepe: damn

KinDIEchi: damn

leavemealone: damn

YourBoiIwa: didn't know you had that in you

Alienfucker: IWACHAN

YourBoiIwa: new number who dis

Sugarmommy: hey daichi come over and rub my feet

Dadchi: why

Sugarmommy: because they hurt and if you rub them for me I'll make it worth your wild

Dadchi: I'm on my way

anNOYAing: we didn't need to read that

Bestsenpai: terrible parents

anNOYAing: hey asahi come over and rub my feet

BestSenpai: gdi Noya

WAKEMEUP: omw

Smolbirb: worth your wild?

Creampuff: oh you sweet summer child 

leavemealone: how many servings can I eat before its worthy of being called a problem

gucci: I'd say about seven or eight

gucci: maybe nine

50ShadesOfSalt: Yamaguchi 

gucci: I eat my feelings okay

gucci: can i come over?

50ShadesOfSalt: Doors unlocked 

Creampuff: friendship goals

Pure: Do ever feel so uncomfortable with yourself that you just want to crawl out of your own skin, but you can't so you sit there and suffer in silence and you can't tell anyone about it because then they will look at you like your a freak and stop talking to you and treat you differently just because you aren't like themed then you loose your friends and your parents hate you and you die alone old and miserable and still uncomfortable with yourself.

Alienfucker: ummm Moniwa... You okay there? Do you need to talk?

Pure: I'm going to bed goodnight everyone 

Alienfucker: night Moniwa but just remember we are here if you want to talk

Smolbirb: we should have a video call sometime for us all

Smolbirb: like next time everyone is available

Alienfucker: I like the way you think shrimpychan lets do it

Smolbirb: let's do it

leavemealone: seven servings of mashed potatoes may have been too much 

KinDIEchi: ffs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Moniwa it's okay you pure child you. You'll get an explanation for this in the next couple of chapters I promise, although based on the tags you can probably figure it out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I don't have any excuse execpt I didn't know what to write for the call, and I still don't, but I wrote it anyways so it's short and sucky. Anyways I'll update more, so I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Btw pickles and peanut butter is good, don't knock it until you try it.

Matsumeme: all my friends are eating steak real slow

Alienfucker: why are you like this

Dadchi: I enjoyed that song and you insist on doing this to me

Smolbirb: is everyone on? can we do the call now?

Alienfucker: Iwa chan is in my room so we will call together

Matsumeme: oh ho ho?

Makipepe: oh ho ho?

Smolbirb: Tobio is here so we can call together

Alienfucker: hold up

Smolbirb: ?

Alienfucker: this is the first time you called him tobio

Matsumeme: ooooo is the relationship 

Makipepe: developing?

futureace: I hate to interrupt but I really don't and this is like super important

Dadchi: what's up Goshiki?

futureace: I can't find ushijima 

Alienfucker: good

Alienfucker: OW IWA CHAN JUST SMACKED ME

fukboi: kinky

snek: Oikawa seems like a spank me kinda guy

fukboi: you can spank me ;)

snek: ;))))

betterthanyou: can you guys fuck and get it over with jfc 

betterthanyou: and I found ushijima grab Tendou and come to the cafeteria it's an emergency 

futureace: on my way

Sugarmommy: everything okay?

betterthanyou: it will be fine, I'm sure we will be online later for the call, now I gtg go help cya

BestSenpai: aw he called him tobio

anNOYAing: so cute

Sugarmommy: is Kageyama at your house Hinata?

Smolbirb: yeah he fell asleep on my bed [image attached]

Matsumeme: he's in your room huh?

Makipepe: in the bed huh?

Dadchi: stop

leavemealone: you know what's really good

Alienfucker: oh god what?

leavemealone: pickles and peanut butter

KinDIEchi: do you hear that?

leavemealone: what?

KinDIEchi: that was the sound of my will to live..flying off into the sun

Pure: Hey guys, I can do the call tonight

Alienfucker: Moniwa! feeling better?

Pure: I guess a bit, thanks for the concern

50ShadesOfSalt: Yamaguchi will be here for the chat but yes we can make it

imalwaysthisnice: can't wait to see you tsuki

50ShadesOfSalt: oh is that my brother calling I must go

imalwaysthisnice: D:

50ShadesOfSalt: ...see you soon

imalwaysthisnice: :D!!

Alienfucker: what a tsundere

Matsumeme: this just in Oikawa is a total yandere

Makipepe: will he be the new yuno?

Alienfucker: fuck off

fukboi: oh we are fucking now?;)

Alienfucker: do you have an off switch?

fukboi: yeah it's right next to the prostate or is that the on switch?

Alienfucker: excuse me while I go puke

fukboi: ;))))

-later that night-

Smolbirb: alright!!!!!caltime!!!!

Hinata hit the call button and the screens of the other callers started popping up.

Before anyone could say a greeting they here, "Kenma what the fuck!! Did you eat all my ice cream?!"

Kenma sat in front of the computer with a bowl of ice cream, spoon half way to his face, "No...?"

Kuroo appeared behind him, "I can't believe you came over just to eat my ice cream."

"Not this isn't interesting, because it isn't, but I want to say that Yamaguchi looks super cute in that sweater not gonna lie," Oikawa spoke up.

Yamaguchi blushed from the compliment, "T-thanks!" They had on a light pink sweater with white polkadots all over it.

"Do you think clouds have feelings?" Makki looked spaced out.

"I want whatever he's smoking," Terushima laughed.

"Okay, but like. When the clouds are sad it rains, and when they are angry we get storms. It makes perfect sense," Makki continued.

"So.... How's everyone's week?" Hinata was trying to change the subject.

"Well since you asked, Iwa-chan was super mean to me all week. I've never done anything wrong in my entire life, I don't know what I did to deserve this," Oikawa dramatically clutch at his heart, and threw his head back.

"That's a lie, but whatever," Kageyama decided at this time to sit up on the bed.

"Oh you're awake," Hinata looked back at him.

"RYUUUUUUUU!" A voice off screen yelled.

Tanaka squinted at his door, "What?!"

"WHERE THE HELL ARE MY KEYS!"

"How the fuck should I know!"

"COME HELP ME LOOK FOR THEM!"

"Ugh..." Tanaka looked back at his screen. "I'll see you guys later." Then logged off while silently cursing his sister.

"One down," Noya shook his head.

"Did you guys know that Daichi has the best thighs ever," Suga looked pointedly behind him.

"I bet they aren't as good as Iwa-chan's arms," Oikawa had a smug smile on his face.

"Can you not?" Iwaizumi's voice came from somewhere off screen.

"I can't help that your arms are drool worthy!"

A pillow hit Oikawa's head from somewhere behind him.

"Mean Iwa-chan!"

"Why are you all online so late," Daichi came from behind Suga.

"Stop being such a dad, Daichi," Noya complained.

"Do you want to run laps?"

"Punish me daddy," Terushima looked like he was barley containing his laughter.

"Okay bye not today nope," Noya logged off.

"Seriously get off your computers and go to bed damn," Daichi rolled his eyes.

"Yes daddy," Terushima said.

"Bye everyone!" Hinata yelled. Kageyama flinched from the noise.

One by one everyone logged off.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugardaddy: alright time to shoot Kageyama down he's the only one left
> 
> Pure: oh god have someone catch him
> 
> anNOYAing: asahi catch him when Kageyama lets go
> 
> WAKEMEUP: what no I can't!,,
> 
> Milkboi: okay I'm ready to let go
> 
> WAKEMEUP: waIT NOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the late update, I had half of this written awhile ago and like.. Forgot about it. But this is kinda just a filler chapter. Idk I think we will get to Moniwa next chapter

anNOYAing: guys okay so wow I'm so scared what the shit is wrong with this team

Alienfucker: everything

Leg: what's happening?

anNOYAing: okay so like the coach said we need to bond more

anNOYAing: so we are at his family house and it's pretty big alright and so Hinata like the literal child he is suggest that we play hide and seek okay

Leg: how is hide and seek scary?

anNOYAing: anyone who gets found becomes it

anNOYAing: I've got a great hide and spot but oNE OF THE IT PEOPLE IS SINGING VOCALOIS HIDE AND SEEK AND IM TRYING NOT TO START SCREAMING OKAY

Sugardaddy: oh so you can hear me?

Bestsenpai: THATS YOU SINIGING?

Sugardaddy: whoops I think I can hear Hinata crying

Dadchi: did someone just scream?

Smolbirb: Suga-San found me...

Milkboi: ha

Sugardaddy: he was on top of a bookshelf when I yelled his name he screamed and fell off so I tagged him

Alienfucker: y'all are wild

greatace: I LOVE HIDE AND SEEK

Shirabooboo: oh of course you do

Betterthanyou: be nice to the literal child

Imalwaysthisnice: Kenma sings circle you really quietly around Lev to scare him

Leg: I KNEW IT

Kitten: no regrets 

Sugardaddy: how the fuck

Sugardaddy: Kageyama

Milkboi: yes?

Sugardaddy: I see you how did you get up there

Sugardaddy: [Insert image of Kageyama clinging onto a high ceiling fan]

Milkboi: I don't know how to get down

Sugardaddy: I heard loud sighing, daichi are you in here

Dadchi: no...

Smolbirb: so I found Yamaguchi... But 

Smolbirb: he… He has a paint gun 

Sugardaddy: oh no

Gucci: come at me you sons of bitches

Alienfucker: damn freckles who knew you had it in you

50ShadesOfSalt: I did, I gave him the gun, I have one too

Littlegay: suddenly I feel like hiding even more so

Pure: oh no be careful don't hit someone’s eye

KinDIEchi: shoot someone's eye

Alienfucker: who hurt you Kindiachi

KinDIEchi: the world

Sugardaddy: YAMAGUCHI JUST SHOT ME

Gucci: sorry mom

Sugardaddy: you are grounded when I get to you

BestSenpai: someone shot my ass and I'm not even it

50ShadesOfSalt: no regrets

WAKEMEUP: please don't shoot me

Sugardaddy: I can hear Asahi’s whimpering he must be close

anNOYAing: someone screamed again

WAKEMEUP: it was me… Suga found me…

Leg: did you ever get Kageyama off the ceiling fan

Milkboi: no I'm still up here

Sugardaddy: daichi I know I just heard you sigh why can't I find you

Smolbirb: I got Noya-San!

anNOYAing: I'm coming for you Ryuu

BestSenpai: sorry I suddenly can't read

Gucci: I don't know how but Hinata stole my guy and tagged me

Gucci: and then tsuki shot him and ran away

Imalwaysthisnice: that's my boy

BestSenpai: Noya got me

Sugardaddy: I got Tsukishima, now I need to find daichi, Yachi, Ennoshima and shoot Kageyama down

Milkboi: rude

Littlegay: you'll never find me

Smolbirb: I found her

Littlegay: what oh my god he did how

Smolbirb: she was in an air vent

Sugardaddy: somehow daichi manage to fit inside a kitchen cabinet 

WAKEMEUP: I found Ennoshima in the closet

Alienfucker: don't stay in the closet Ennoshima, come out

EnnoSHITa: I hate you

Sugardaddy: alright time to shoot Kageyama down he's the only one left

Pure: oh god have someone catch him

anNOYAing: asahi catch him when Kageyama lets go

WAKEMEUP: what no I can't!,,

Milkboi: okay I'm ready to let go

WAKEMEUP: waIT NOOO

Sugardaddy: Kageyama just like let go and dropped like a rock and asahi like dived to catch him and he's crying and poor Kageyama doesn't know how to comfort crying people

Alienfucker: we should have team bonding like this

KinDIEchi: no

Leavemealone: no

Creampuff: no

YourBoiIwa: no

Matsumeme: Yes

Makipepe: god yes 

Maddog: never

Alienfucker: wow love you guys too


End file.
